


Keeping Watch

by Masas_corner



Series: Shonen YoRHa [1]
Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game), Nier Gestalt | Nier Replicant | Nier (Video Games), Shonen YoRHa, YoRHa Boys
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26166736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masas_corner/pseuds/Masas_corner
Summary: I'll add a summary later sorry.It has cute kisses.
Relationships: No.3/No.4
Series: Shonen YoRHa [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900180





	Keeping Watch

No.3 lay on his back, silence filling the air around him. Above him, the clouded sky glowed pale in its endless day. Often they rested like this, nestled near building ruins or, like this time, against the rocks of the desert. The team had decided to take a rest, with no.4 keeping watch from atop a huge rock. He looked so bored over there, resting his head on a knee he'd pulled toward his chest, his rifle by his side. Just in case. 

The machines had been quiet the last two days, affording the team time to relax. It was in that time that no.3 kept thinking about the other day. He turned his head to where no.6 was sleeping. Although he couldn't see him from here, he was aware of his presence. The other day, their commander had introduced them to this new technology called "scanning." It had so much potential for things like internal maintenance, scouting for enemies, and maybe even taking them over. The possibilities seemed endless, but there was something about it that was off. 

Commander Black had scanned each of them in turn, giving them an idea of what it would be like. It was strange to have a presence floating around your body, even for good intentions. It was like for a moment your minds linked together, your emotions and thoughts laid bare to whoever scanned you. No.3 shivered. He never wanted to feel it again. On the other hand, no.6 had begged for more, squirming in his seat like he had an itch. What made him feel that way?

No.3 had made a joke, that no.6 liked boys. Was that even possible? He didn't have that much knowledge about humans, and even the idea of romance was out of his league. All he knew was that boys were supposed to like girls, right? He always thought this unfair, so seeing no.6, creepy as it was, allowed him to see the other side. What it would be like to feel attraction at all.

Androids like him were taught that emotions were prohibited. They were just distractions from the mission. No.3 took it to heart, but not as well as some of the others. He was always jealous of no.4, who seemed to be the best at covering it up. Often, no.3 felt like he was just hiding real feelings under a façade, but who knew at this point? Right now, a part of him wanted to find out. Did either of them have real emotions? Could they like each other? These thoughts swirled in his head over and over again until eventually he got up. He couldn't take it, he had to know.

No.4 looked up at him as no.3 climbed the rock. "It's not time to switch yet," he said calmly. "And no.2 is supposed to do it."

"I know," no.3 answered.

"Couldn't sleep?" No.4 guessed.

"Yeah," he nodded.

No.4 stretched, turning back to his watch. "Some company won't be bad..."

No.3 smiled, but was grateful now for the bands that covered their eyes. His eyes looked around as he tried to figure out what he wanted to do. Guess he should have thought this through.

Both of them watched the horizon for any movement at all, but in the desert, there wasn't even grass to see. Just sand, endlessly floating in the breeze. No wonder no.4 was so bored.

"You're abnormally quiet..." No.4 said. No.3 had been so lost in his head that the voice startled him. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," he lied.

"Lying is a waste of time," no.4 scoffed.

"You're right. Brooding is your job."

No.4 looked at him, and even through their blindfolds he could sense the irritation. To his surprise, it faded into a smile. "Guess you're right."

No.3's mouth fell agape. "I didn't think you'd ever admit it."

"Lying is a waste of time," he repeated softly.

"Then what's in your mind?"

No.4 seemed to consider this question, but eventually answered, "I asked you first. We can share, just this once."

What was different today? No.3 chalked it up to their solitude. With a group of eight boys, it was rare to have a moment with just the two of them. They used to be a trio, just them and the captain. It allowed for them to be closer to each other than the other boys, and neither of them seemed to mind.

No.3 took a breath and turned toward the desert. If he was going to ramble, he may as well keep doing their job. He told no.4 about his troubles. How no.6 had made him question their ability to feel, and how he wondered what it was like to have emotions like that. Naturally, he left out the part about wanting to test that with him.

"I figured it would be about that," no.4 said. "You know we can't have emotions."

"Because command says we can't," he spoke louder than intended, and both of them shot a glance at the camp, making sure nobody stirred. He glared at no.4, though he knew his expression was obscured. "We feel anger, right? We feel commradarie, right? If we have these, then aren't we just lying to ourselves?"

No.4 didn't answer, instead tensing his shoulders.

"I think there's more they're lying to us about," no.3 continued. "I just want the freedom to explore these feelings, you know."

No.3 sighed and looked away, but no.4 stared at the ground between them, unmoving. Brooding really was his thing. Eventually, no.3 got curious, "So. What's on your mind? You owe me, remember?"

"O-oh, right." No.4's stutter was uncharacteristic. Seemed He was full of surprises today. He shifted his weight and looked up. "I wonder why we exist. . . ." he paused. "All we do is fight. No emotions, just killing. And even though I try. . . to hold them back, I feel fear. I feel hopeless. Will it ever end?"

His voice trailed quieter, as if he was afraid of being so vulnerable. The façade was real, and no.3 had found his way in. 

"I don't know," no.3 answered. "I don't think even the commander knows."

"I just think we won't live to see the end of it. That our time here won't hold any meaning."

No.3 let those words hang in the air as he processed them. Those thoughts must have weighed heavy on his comrade, and yet a new feeling came over him. "Even if we don't live to see it, I want to treasure this time. Live today for the unpromised tomorrow." He grinned. Must have been the deepest thing he's ever said. 

No.4 gave him a weak smile and nodded. "Sorry, I think I've said too much."

"No way. I can't believe you've been holding on to that for this long!" Instinctually, he grabbed no.4's hand, taking it between both of his. "You don't have to carry those thoughts alone, you know? I'm here for you. I-I mean, everyone is here for you."

He felt no.4 gently grip his hand as he chuckled. "Thank you."

No.3 pulled one of his hands away, placing it on his comrade's cheek. No.4 flinched and pulled his hand away. Just as quickly as he's opened up, the wall came back. No.3 wouldn't accept it. He closed some space between them, carefully moving to remove the blindfold from no.4's eyes. He softly held his face as the cloth fell away. Before him, no.4's eyes opened wide with shock, frozen in time. 

"I'm sorry," no.3 whispered. He ran his thumb across no.4's lips, impressed by how smooth they were. He'd never touched the skin of another, for they were so heavily garbed in their coats. For some reason, he wanted more. Maybe he liked him. Maybe he was just making it up so he could feel for once in his life. Maybe he just really wanted to do this. "Just once..." He said, closing the gap between their faces. "I want to know what this feels like." 

His pulse raced as he pressed their lips together. He expected no.4 to pull away, but instead he relaxed. No.3 tried to process that reaction, but instead was lost in the softness of his touch. While short, the kiss felt like a lifetime of bliss. When no.3 finally pulled away, he found himself wanting more. Their eyes met, but he realized his were still covered.

Without a word, no.3 lifted his hands to remove it, but only got half way when he felt the touch of no.4's hands on the knot. Now it was his turn to be surprised. The desires he held inside surfaced in his mind. This wasn't about them, it was about a burning need to be cared for. No.3 thought about it as they gazed into each other's eyes. He may have taken anyone to be with now, but he was glad it was no.4.

The silence suddenly made him uncomfortable, and he looked away. "Thanks for humoring me," he said anxiously. "I didn't expect you to agree to it, so I was pushy. You don't ha--" he was interrupted by no.4 placing two fingers against no.3's lips. No.4 eyed him curiously before nervously closing the gap again. He stopped twice, as if considering if this was ok before kissing him tenderly. Was this really happening? No.3 felt arms wrap around his shoulder and he realized he must have done exactly what no.4 wanted. No.4 pulled him close and moved his lips again no.3's. This couldn't be real, no.3 thought. 

If any machines came by now, the team would be lost. No.3 placed his arms around no.4's waist kissing him over and over again. The world seemed to grow smaller, until all he knew was the touch of his lips. He became deeply aware of no.4, surprised by his petite frame. He'd never noticed before how lean he was, how his waist held the slightest curve, how his touch was so gentle even as his fingers curled into his coat. How could such a boy ever be forced to fight? Sure, he was plenty strong enough to fight, but something about him made no.3 want to protect him. He wanted tomorrow to be promised, and those fears be laid to rest. If only his arms held that power. 

He didn't know how long they were like that, before they stopped, touching their foreheads together.

"I guess I got a little carried away," no.4 smiled. 

"Me too," no.3 replied, kissing the side of his nose.

No.4 laughed, a sound he thought he'd never hear, and dropped his head into the crook of his neck, falling into an embrace.

"I wish the world was like this," no.4 whispered against his scarf. "Nothing to fear."

"Yeah," no.3 answered, nuzzling him and moving to pet him. He thought he could live in this embrace.

A voice came up beside them, "You know, you can't see machines with your faces stuck together."

No.3 sat up and looked over to see no.2. Right, it was his shift. No.4 pushed away so abruptly that he nearly fell back. 

"Shit," no.4 cursed. He breathed heavily and covered his mouth with the back of his hand. "How long were you there?"

"Hmm," no.2 climbed the rest of the way up the rock and sat down. "Long enough to hear, 'I wish the world was like this.' I was still below, if that brings you comfort."

No.3 sighed in relief. At least he hadn't seen them kissing. A moment earlier and they'd have been caught.

"I'm surprised," no.2 said. "I thought you more alert than that, no.4. He really had that effect on you?"

No.4 scowled but grabbed his blindfold, retreating behind the safety of its veil.

"And you, no.3," he continued, "didn't you just tease no.6 for this? I didn't think you had it in you."

"Shut up," no.4 growled. "You know you're no different."

No.2 bobbed his head in thought. "Fair."

No.3 raised an eyebrow, then realized his face was still exposed. He too re-covered his eyes.

"Please," no.4 begged, his voice waving. "Don't tell anyone."

"I won't," no.2 answered quickly. "But consider yourself lucky. Anyone else would have ratted you out to command right away. You know better than to give in to emotions."

"Hey," no.3 butted in. "It was my fault anyway. No need to chastise him. I was the one that started it."

No.2 seemed shocked. Why would that surprise him? Come to think of it, why did no.4 say they weren't so different? No.3 knew he'd missed a conversation they must have had before. Then that means...no.2 knew no.4 had feelings?! That couldn't be right. Now his brain was really making things up. Still, the thought made his stomach turn knots. This whole time he'd been oblivious. Just giving no.4 something else to bear on his shoulders alone. While guilt was unfounded, it welled in his chest.

"Is that so?" No.2 stared at no.4. "Hmm. . ."

"I'm leaving," no.4 left hurriedly.

They watched him move out of earshot before no.3 turned to his comrade. "You knew how he felt about me?"

No.2 sighed. "We confided with each other. The last time we held watch. We both held someone close to our hearts, but we weren't sure what that meant. Was it a human emotion, or just a deeper bond with a comrade? I think he found his answer."

"And you haven't?"

"Right," no.2 looked to the horizon. At least he was keen on doing his job. "We decided that desire was a human emotion, and as such it needed to be repressed. The only one we agreed to show was protection. Closeness in company. And touching was definitely not allowed."

No.3 scratched his neck nervously. "Still my fault."

No.2 glanced at him, likely asking himself what the hell kind of touching they did. "It makes me wonder. Why were we soldiers given the capability to feel this way? They could have changed our thought circuits. Made us less human. Instead, they torture us with conflict. The mission, or the people we love?"

"An impossible choice." No.3 stated.

"And one we'll all have to make."

"Is it really okay to lie to ourselves about our emotions?" No.3 asked.

"I think that's something we have to figure out for ourselves."

"It's cruel."

No.2 nodded in agreement. "I hope you figure out what's best for the two of you. Do try not to get caught. Seriously."

No.3 laughed nervously. After this, he wasn't sure if he'd ever get the nerve to do it again, or even talk to no.4 about it. Only time would tell.

**Author's Note:**

> These characters are NOT original and are featured in the boy's play which is also released as a novel. The English translation is coming out on October 28th, 2020. If you like my work, please consider picking it up.


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